an unfulfilled wish....

Life always can't move in the direction we want it to, and sometimes it's good that it doesn't . Afterall,we aren't always good at forseeing things in the right way, are we? So, sometimes I just give up and let my wishes go unfulfilled, thinking that may be it's the best fate for them to remain this way.

All that we wish for isn't meant for us to have,some wishes better remain unfulfilled. They are meant to be treasured in our heart safely, and the sweet bitter pain they cause once in a while is worth savouring. Not always the beauty lies in acheiving, sometimes it also is beatiful enough to just feel.The feeling itself is so warm and fulfilling that we won't need any further addition to that.

You know what's the charm of an unfulfilled wish???....

When a wish doesn't come true, it doesn't come to an end, unlike all other good things in life. It remains there. It remains there, in our heart as a wish.... which, we sometimes sigh upon, sometimes smile upon, and at times cry upon. It's one of the most loyal things we come across in life, very few things in life fulfill the promise "till death do we part"..... a longing wish fulfills that promise beautifully. It remains there close to our heart like the sacred cross and faithfully accompanies us to the grave.

An Unfulfilled Wish....

simple joys of life....

Sometimes I simply wonder at these simple joys of life. It's amazing how these small things have the dexterity to fill life with simple unadulterated pleasures. Ah the simple things of life.....!

Simple things like a morning dream which just doesn't let you open your eyes. Even if your mind rings the alarm, and your subconscious mind which was the source of the dream finishes the night duty and goes for a nap, you forcefully shut your eyes and wish the dream to continue for a little more time. At times your fully conscious mind even manages to imagine a sequel to the dream, and at last when you reluctantly lift your lids with a smile on your face, you find the morning to be one of the most beautiful ones.

Wonders these mysterious phenomenon called dreams can do.....all of sudden they can bring in your vision a face from a fading memory, which you haven't seen for months, or sometimes even years. And now it's so vividly in front of your eyes, you can notice the minutest details, the shine in those eyes, the tilt of those lips, that tiny scar on the brow, you can hear your name being called in that particular voice again, and sometimes you can even smell the so very familiar intoxicating smell which many a times you have consciously craved for but never found a similar one. You enjoy every bit of it, you cherish every moment, you savour the beauty of that dream.

Who would like all this to end? but all good things have to come to an end.... but they leave us with a renewed memory of moments which actually never existed but still were capable enough to beautify your morning ....:)

exam fever again !

One morning you wake up and realize that you have two weeks to go to execute your idea and turn your imagination into a reality, what are you suppose to do then?

Well.... i personally remind myself about one the quotes of Swami Vivekanada "Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success" ( what an idea sirji !) So, basically that is what I'm up to now a days. Though the commitment of that intensity is difficult to attain, and personally I at times am very poor in keeping the commitments, but least I can do is give my best shot, they don't say it without any reason that "reach for the stars, so if you fall, you may land on a cloud" and I tell you, cloud no. 9 isn't a bad place to be on, isn't it?

So, the entire life of mine has been just a series of examinations,( i think everyone's is that way some or the other sort of exam), one after another and another one after one....it's a vicious cycle, but then I must agree that there is a thrill in it ( human nature you know.... always finds a thrill in danger and in pains too at times). Every time it approaches you, it spills a sort of nervousness around you, then at times it gives you those wonderful 'adrenaline rushes', where you burn with an idea, the fire within you rises high and you are ready to get consumed and give your life and soul to it. Then at times it may be a little depressing too. So, basically it brings all sorts of emotions and makes you feel alive and kicking ( that's how I'm feeling right now)

So, time to get back to the idea and work on it.

Trying times will come and go.They come with a hope that, on the other side of this bridge lies the most cherished victory, and they leave us with an experience, good or bad, the adjective doesn't count as much in the long run as the word 'experience' itself counts.

So today when I again face one of those trying times and the going the gets tough, I think of the sweet taste of victory, the satisfaction of a proper try, the valuable lessons of defeat, and the most worthy of all things the experience itself, which will make me stronger and wiser and give me the satisfaction that I've lived it all well.

Someday, somewhere, at some point of time I'll close my eyes and say to myself it was all worth it.

 sitaron se aage jahan aur bhi hain, abhi ishq ke imtehaan aur bhi hain...

the moon's love story

So, the diamond ring has been the talk of the town for a while, it seems. But have you ever wondered about the story behind the diamond ring? Of course everyone knows the scientific theories of eclipse, but have you ever heard the love story behind this ring….ok let me take the pleasure of narrating it here.
The moon, which is an indispensable part of romanticism, the very epitome of love, which has been an object of admiration for all the love stricken people since time unknown, has got a love story of its own, an interesting one in fact.
Now guess who is the lucky lover of this mystique beauty….. Of course the sun ! Wondering …. how can it be the sun, after all you never spot them together. But , next time when you go out in the day light, look around the sky, in some corner you may find the moon totally lost in the sun’s light. Yes, this is how the day starts for the moon….as the sun rises to it’s prominence and enlightens the world, the moon seems to be fading away, but is it really fading away? Actually the moon is getting submerged in the love of its lover. The moon surrenders itself completely to its love and such intense this selfless surrender is that there comes a moment when the moon loses its identity completely. Just imagine the bliss of such a relationship where a person lets go ones identity, all its love, all its self for the sake of love. Imagine the audacity of giving away every ounce of itself , and just look at the ease with which the moon does it.
So, through out the day the moon is completely immersed in its lover’s light, their love mingling, up in the heavenly azure. But as we know, when has the course of true love ever run smooth? So, how can this story be spared?

As the dusk succeeds the day, the sun start disappearing, the time has come, to let the love go, the moon will have to face the dark night all alone… the long dark night.

The sun before leaving makes the moon promise that however tough the time may be, how so ever dark the night may turn out to be but the moon will face every second of the darkness without losing the faith in love. The sun leaves, and moon absorbs its love and enlighten it self with the sun’s light. As the night grows darker, the moon grows brighter. Though not together, but the sun’s light never leaves the moon for a single moment. It’s the sun’s love which makes the moon radiate so beautifully that even those thousand times bigger stars seem to be so inferior.
So, there in the night stands the lonely lover longing to meet its love, and the irony is, here on earth, people like you and me look up at the moon, and give a wishful sigh thinking about our loved ones.

Moon itself is burning up there, but gives comfort to those lonely longing pair of eyes, who looking up at the moon console themselves with the fact that at some other corner of the world another pair of eyes that they love, too are looking up at the moon. So, there in that long dark night the bruised moon keeps healing those lonely hearts on the earth with a hope that ultimately there will be a dawn and the sun will rise once again, embracing the moon once again. And slowly the dawn breaks…… you see the orange flames of love burning in the sun…. and the moon is ready to be consumed once again into the eternity of love. Once again the day brightens and the love smiles :)

So, next time when you see the moon, recall this story for a moment and remember that,however lonely and dark the night may be, but there definitely comes a morning, every dusk is ultimately succeeded by a dazzling dawn. So keep up your faith alive and hold on to your love.

ps: and an eclipse is one of those lucky days when we can spot those two lovers together, in fact very much together, it’s their date… when the sun presents the moon with that dazzling diamond ring :)

the winter rain

There are very few things more haunting yet more romantic than a winter rain.
It’s always a stirring experience.

I sit by my window and see those dark clouds descending down the high mountains into the valley….. like the brave warriors marching forward with valor, with thunders and lightening as their weapons, they soon conquer the sky, the mighty sun too surrenders and is curtailed.....a sunny afternoon soon turns into a gloomy scene. The wind accompanying the clouds is fiercely cold and strong. It shakes the denuded branches of  brazen trees. There seems to be a desperation in the stir, seems as if the juddering trees are pleading the clouds to break down heavily and drench the earth, so that the buds will sprout again, the leaves in their nascent green will decorate the trees once again, and once again it will lead a way for the spring.

As i look upon the sight outside, the glass of my window too is being shaken by the wind, the breeze is turning the pages of my diary which lies open on the table by the window side, the cup of coffee has lost it effervescence and my un-capped pen rolls over the table.

It’s getting darker with every passing moment, and the wind becomes stronger, the curtains in my room fly higher, I keep looking outside. As the storm keeps building up, it not only perturbs the scene outside, but somewhere deep down in my own self too, things are stirred, memories some good, some bad, start hitting the soul in the same way as the chilled breeze has been hitting my face. Outside there,I see those fallen leaves being carried away by the wind, and in here I too am getting carried away by my thoughts, thoughts of today, memories of yesterday and fears and imaginations of tomorrow. There I see a swirl rising up….. and within myself I see faces, faces of people I have come across, some of them who are with me, some who were left behind, some who moved ahead, I see events, events trivial as well as magnanimous, all of them shaping my life in their own ways, I see places, places which have left an imprint on mind, some unforgettable journeys, some subconsciously noted roads,some cross roads, some never covered distances, some imaginary adobes, I see the ever-changing seasons, everything together creates a whirlpool.

The storm is at its zenith, the swirl rising to its greatest possible height, leaves, particles, dust everything dancing on the tune of the wind, but the center is empty…… yes, the center is empty I notice, in the same way as I see an empty me at the center of the world revolving round me, the thoughts, those people, those memories, the feelings, the places..... amidst all of them I stand alone .....haunted.

And the storm explodes....the lightening is meiotic and the sound is deafening, for a moment everything stops, it's all numb…… and the flood gates are opened, it’s pouring down heavily…I come out of the trance to find that the earth is being soaked up, the trees are tranquilized, the wind is no where to be felt, the flying in leaves now being washed and buried into the soil. The rain drops take the liberty to cross my window and I feel the wetness on my face, my fingers touch those drops over my cheeks…. and it’s not cold….seems some flood gates got opened here too…and

I smile.

I shut the window glasses and notice the mess on my table….. The storm has left all it’s marks here,on the pages of my diary….. dirt particles, a dried leaf and also some rain everything lies there, the cup of coffee now split, the pen still lying coverless in a corner. I gather up myself, clear up the mess, light the lamp on the table, and all of a sudden the ambience is so perfectly lit, a soft light being scatters all around. The cup in my hands needs a refilling I feel, I get into the kitchen and somehow on my regular dark taste, I today feel the need of adding a dash of cream and a spoonful of chocolate too….and then sipping up the dark temptation I get back to my room, put on my favorite rain song, and laze by the window.

I can smell the fragrance coming from a happy earth, whose thirst has been quenched. The warm bitter-sweet taste of the coffee lingers in my mouth and a similar sensation I feel down my heart too. Those thoughts, those people, those places, those memories, those feelings, which felt so very haunting a moment ago, were now metamorphosing themselves into a beautiful medley .The good times were celebrating, the not so good ones were humbly smiling at the valuable lessons they taught. People were leaving their footprints on the sand of the heart, some prints getting washed away, some were permanently engraved, some I found beside me, some behind and some leading me, there was a common link that all of them at some point had been with me and I was grateful that I had not been alone. The chamaeleon nature of the seasons was coloring my life. The roads, some were waving goodbyes and some showed milestones with a welcome tag. And then there were days … yesterday was fading out with a satisfied smile on it’s face, tomorrow was again too far to comprehend and it too had a mysterious but promising smile on it’s face, and today definitely seemed to be a present in all the sense. So slowly the haunting things got a romantic color on them, and I find myself smiling.... a smile that has the satisfaction of yesterday, promise of tomorrow and the present of today :)

And the rain out side thins, on one corner I see the blue sky, and find the sun softly lifting the veil of the subdued clouds to see a freshly bathed earth…… romance is in the air….;)