My faith has always been an unshakable one, that the man upstairs is fairest of all, there esixt no bias, no prejudices, no partiality in his domnion.
Then why am I having doubt now?
I have been feeling lost for quite a long now, I have been trying my best to find an answer to my questions for so long, now I feel totally drained, and I still don't have my answers. I have been crying for help, am sure he must have dropped hints as well as help,it must be the fault of my eyes to not have recognized them.
Then thinking that's because of my blurred perception that I could not pick his signs, I started parying for ingenuity, so that I could comprehend what he wanted to say in all hidden ways, but I failed again.
Earlier I used to hear him in my innerself, closing my eyes and letting myself hear my own self was the best method to get connected to him, now a days I can't anymore hear myself. All I can hear from within me is a cry for help, a sob for helpness, a crippled feeling of indesiciveness....I feel lost in all ways.
Reminds me of a very old song
But then throughout the little of whatsoever life I have lived,I've come to realize that, even when all my knowledge fails, my experiences rot, my mind gives up and my soul surrenders.... my faith somehow still survives.... and I recall this famous story:
two sets of footprints in the sand,
when you see only one set of footprints in the sand,
So, may be he is carrying me right now too, and I here am unnecessarily blaming him.... human nature you see is such ungrateful.... may be that's why you and me are mere mortal beings and he is GOD.
ps- if you are wondering why have I been writing all this here on a public platform.... it's just because, I am tired of writing all this in my diary, and may be God too has become techsavy like we people and he browses blogs mostly rather than personal diaries, so may be he someday will read this and answer to my prayers, and I ve heard he mostly answers through his children, so may be one fine morning I'll find his words coming from one of you... HALLELUJAH!