a black day !

she might be some girl in some country, but she leaves behind a question for entire humanity .... "where do we stand? " .... she stirs up emotions such of anger, shame and grief at the same time.... her death slaps hard on the face of so called 'civilized society' which we are so proud of and place so much of importance to... ppl introspect ...say...ask...fight...and change not only the system or society... but the way you think , you react and you live.... life is a blessing so give it the respect it owes 

wishes...

there are days when all you want is to wrap yourself up on a bed under a duvet and close your eyes  half smiling and have someone run fingers through you hair . *sigh*

An Equal World !

“If you educate a man, you educate an individual. If you educate a woman, you educate a nation” may not be true in all literal senses, but equal opportunities and education will certainly make the world a better place !


 & it's her day today ...

gud old blue

gud mornin ppl,
on this side mornings have always been about work, and even on saturdays stuck with loads with work .... thesis writing is making me mad..... i loose it ... and then i again try catching a hold of it.... again loose it.... it seems like vicious cycle .... but hoping to get it done ASAP !
creativity is just drained out .... no creative juice to flow.... am at a point where i have started questioning myself whether i had it at the first place to begin with it..... anyways it's all side effect of the thesis writing. thankfully the man upstairs is ever so creative and is always creating new colors in the nature, i happened to capture some while i was on a field visit in the outskirts of the valley.... amazing blue sky.... have a look :)

perfect imperfections !

life is far from being perfect..... but, imperfect at times is perfectly beautiful !

that some day....

Some day when this gloom recedes and the happy sun spreads its rays… some day when this mist is blown by the autumn breeze away … some day when these weeping clouds make a window for the eternal blue stretching till miles… on that some day when the heart finds few reasons to smile … for now the ‘some day’ is just a lofty distant dream that’s far away… and who knows if there really is some ‘some day’ !

bitter truth !

Yet each man kills the thing he loves, 
By each let this be heard, 
Some do it with a bitter look, 
Some with a flattering word, 
The coward does it with a kiss, 
The brave man with a sword!

                                            Oscar Wilde

my share of sky !

My share of sky this morning :)

"Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child - our own two eyes. All is a miracle." (Thich Nhat Hanh)

the blend

over the horizon i see a defining line, one separating the dark and the not-so-dark.... there seems to be a silent tussle going on, each of them trying to cross the line and blend with the other one.... but then crossing the line needs much more than just a mere desire.... it needs a dedication that's beyond the boundaries defining the norms.... they stir within themselves.... they fight with themselves... they grow.... they expand and they finally rise.....rise way above that line.... and there is nothing that can now stop them from blending into each other.... no line in the world can now divide them...... and then they together blend into each other to the perfection.... the onlooker can only marvel at their dance of togetherness....the way they mold into each other taking different shapes together.....flying everywhere... moving in all directions...... and now not only over the horizon but instead they take over the entire sky..... the white and the dark clouds together ..... ready to pour down .... ready to take the journey together for the ultimate destination..... ready to quench the thirsty earth :

me without us....

क्या हो जो तुम ना भी मिलो तो.....  जीना तो फिर भी है.... बस एक कमी रह जाएगी..... एक कसक बाकि रह जाएगी.... हर बार जब भी ख्यालों में आके मुस्कुराओगे तो आँखों में एक नमी सी आ जाएगी .... चलता है, ज़िन्दगी है जैसे भी चल ही लेगी .... क्या हुआ अगर थोडा कम हसेंगे तो ... और अगर थोडा ज्यादा रोए तो ..... ज़िन्दगी बेचारी भी कितना हिसाब रखे और ग़म और ख़ुशी बराबर बाटें .... थोड़े ज्यादा ग़म जान थोड़े ही लेंगे.... उनका भी अपना मज़ा है... सच पूछो तो पता नहीं क्यों ऐसा महसूस होता है की तुम्हारा ग़म भी हमे और बेहतर बनाता जा रहा है.....  वरना लोग खुद साथ रह कर भी कुछ अच्छा नहीं कर पाते और तुम तो जाते जाते भी हमे तरासे जा रहे हो..... जा तो रहे हो, पर जाने क्यों लगता है एक बार मुड़ कर देखोगे नज़र भर एक दिन.... और कदम खुद-ब-खुद वापस चल पड़ेंगे हमारी ओर.... और हम वही खड़े मुस्कुरा रहे होंगे जिंदगी को बाँहों में समेटे बिना किसी शिकायत के ... कोई शिकवा नहीं ना तुमसे ना जिंदगी से... क्या करे दोनों अपने हो और खुद से क्या गिला.... 

Tere bina zindagi se koyi, shikwa, to nahi, shikwa nahi, shikwa nahi, shikwa nahi
Tere bina zindagi bhi lekin, zindagi, to nahi, zindagi nahi, zindagi nahi, zindagi nahi
Tere bina zindagi se koyi, shikwa, to nahi 
         
Kaash aisa ho tere qadmo se, chun ke manzil chale aur kahi door kahi 
Tum gar saath ho, manzilon ki kami to nahi
Tere bina zindagi se koyi, shikwa to nahi 
         
Jee mein aata hai, tere daaman mein, sar jhuka ke ham rote rahe, rote rahe 
Teri bhi aankho mein, aansuo ki nami to nahi 

Tere bina zindagi se koyi, shikwa, to nahi,
shikwa nahi, shikwa nahi, shikwa nahi
Tere bina zindagi bhi lekin, zindagi, to nahi,
zindagi nahi, zindagi nahi, zindagi nahi 
         
Tum jo keh do to aaj ki raat, chaand doobega nahi, raat ko rok lo 
Raat ki baat hai, aur zindagi baaki to nahi 

Tere bina zindagi se koyi, shikwa, to nahi.....

that little pinching pain !

तुम्हे कोई और देखे तो जलता  है दिल , 
बड़ी मुश्किलों से फिर संभालता है दिल, 
क्या क्या  जतान  करते हैं तुम्हे क्या पता .....

Didn’t know an emotion, such a strong one can exist at such an age too. This is the problem with we human beings, we always are either underestimating things or overestimating them, hardly ever are we able to achieve that golden beam… that perfect balance…

Why do we feel we are beyond age for a particular thing…. Lately,I’ve been realizing it very frequently that, there is no age related boundaries for emotions, we actually are never too old to not to feel anything….

So, why am I being harsh on myself for feeling that little pang of jealousy…. why not just enjoy the moment when that fiery feeling rises up and clasps your heart for a moment and you feel the sharp pinch there…. And you realize how ardently you want that thing/person to be just yours… all yours !

ps: for people who think emotions like these spring up from the sense of insecurity….. well, mostly it does but, not always…. and it’s ok to feel this way at times… and let yourself go with the flow of emotions and enjoy it while it lasts… so couldn’t halp humming this song to myself…. J

Humein Tumse Pyaar Kitna Yeh Hum Nahin Jaante

Magar Jee Nahin Sakte Tumhaare Bina

Suna Gham Judaai Ka Uthaate Hai Log

Jaane Zindagi Kaise Bitaate Hai Log

Din Bhi Yahaan To Lage Baras Ke Samaan

Hume Intezaar Kitna Yeh Hum Nahin Jaante

Magar Jee Nahin Sakte Tumhaare Bina

Hume Tumse Pyaar

Tumhe Koyi Aur Dekhe To Jalta Hai Dil

Badi Mushkilon Se Phir Sambhalta Hai Dil

Kya Kya Jatan Karte Hai Tumhe Kya Pataa

Yeh Dil Beqraar Kitna Yeh Hum Nahin Jaante

Magar Jee Nahin Sakte Tumhaare Bina

Hume Tumse Pyaar Kitna Yeh Hum Nahin Jaante

Magar Jee Nahin Sakte Tumhaare Bina

Hume Tumse Pyaar 

moments and memories

A beautiful moment, you open the closet and a memory drops out of it like a pearl falling off from a string of pearls… and then more of the pearls splattering around…. You try holding them and they keep slipping away leaving the string behind.... just like those moments… the moments leave and memories linger.

I sometimes find it very hard to believe how lonely we all are ..... we may have a crowd around us walking all the time, we may have a group around us laughing aloud, we may have people talking to us, we may have the entire world going on all around us .... still deep down there.... It's a lonely world !

I'm no more scared of that fact, am no more worried about being it that way, in fact, I'm trying to accept it as much as I can that it is going to be this way, and I've to befriend this lonliness.... why always search for a solace in the outer world, when you can have it within yourself !

may you climb from peak to peak

been a long time since i posted anything.... seems the words are in a mood to take a break so thought would instead let the pictures do some talking.... so here is one taken on a recent trip to Darjeeling 

कभी एक दिन....

कभी एक दिन...... ऐसा भी तो कोई दिन आएगा जब सुबह मुस्कुराती हुई हलके हाथों से छेड़ते हुए उठाएगी .... वैसी भी तो कोई रात होगी जब चांदनी जलाएगी नहीं, ओस बरसायेगी ... एक दिन कोई कन्धा तो मिलेगा इस थके हुए सर को रखने के लिए.... एक दिन कोई दामन तो मिलेगा  डूब कर रोने के लिए.... एक दिन इस मुस्कराहट त से खेलने वाला कोई मुस्कुराता चेहरा तो सामने होगा.... एक दिन इन उँगलियों के बिच में सामने के लिए तुम्हारी उंगलिया तो होगी..... वैसा भी कभी होगा जब डगमगाते हुए कदमो से जब हम चले तो तुम थामने के लिए साथ रहोगे.... और जब हम तन्हाई में बस यूँही आसमान को देखे तो तुम हमे देखो और तन्हाई मिटा दो.... और जब हम थक कर आँखें मूँद ले तो आँखों के सामने भी तुम रहो और सपनो में भी तुम..... कभी एक दिन जब तुम आओगे....

picture courtesy: google

time to walk again !!!

It might take me ages to figure out my way, but once I'm there, it's impossible to stop me from walking on it !

that white string of flowers.....

 he stopped by the traffic signal and looked at the rush outside indifferently, drowned in his own thoughts scarcely taking any notice of the chaos outside.  the knock against his window disrupted his attention, again one of those kids carrying those gajras white strands of flowers embedded with some red ones in between... but today for a change he didn't get irritated and waved them out, instead he lowered his window, and something made him buy one of those softly smelling string of white flowers.

she would like it, wouldn't she, he thought to himself....her long black hair would beautifully compliment these these white petals or is it  the other way round.... which ever way it is..... hasn't it been ages since he has gifted her something, other than for her birthdays or anniversaries.... or other than those fancy jewelleries and diamonds which with time have become so expected and in some ways boring too..... and he smiled to himself thinking how amidst those luxuries of life, simple things go undone and unnoticed.

the signal turned green, the rush again started and for him, rush of his thought continued..... back in college days, when life used to be much simple and necessities were more and luxuries less, when him and her were just friends and in process of becoming something more than friends, those days of fresh waves when he had just started taking notice of her, and he had noticed how everyday she used to have a different hair clip tying her hair..... her hair.... a thick beautiful curtain of jet black color..... which smelled so good when they used to sit side by side on that stone bench in the college park.... which used to be ruffled by wind on those cloudy windy evenings when they used to take long lazy walks on those less-trodden paths..... wasn't it one of those moments when he fell in love with her..... he doesn't remember which moment exactly, but now looking back, it feels like it must have been one of those moments........ and later on he so frequently used to gift her those little and seemingly insignificant hair clips and the smile she used to have was just priceless, even the diamonds today don't make her twinkle that way as those silly accessories during days used to

then college got over her.... real life got in ..... after their own sets of struggle, they were together and it was worth it..... and that wedding night too had a story of her hair, how can he ever forget that untangling her hair from those numerous hairpins took eternity.... and how he cursed the hair artist for it.... and how cute she looked with those ruffled tangled locks of hair....

they have come a long way from then...... things have moved well, they are having a good time together, both busy in making it all work perfectly..... now a mother of two cute kids and a tough job to handle she is doing it all so well, and guess so is he ......but where has the expression of  love vanished .....he is still the same person and still dearly in love with her, in fact more than ever actually, she is the same beautiful soul he met all those years ago.... then why has life changed so much.... why are gifts only expensive now a days and occasional......

lost in all his thoughts he didn't even realize that he was already home, and when she opened the door with her usual smile.... that melted his heart like never before.... he simply left those flowers on her dressing table.....

that evening in that function, with the garden full of hundreds of  people his eyes would keep following and stopping at that one beautiful lady clad in that maroon silk , with that red bindi on her forehead and  her beautiful black hair adorned by that white and red string of flowers, occasionally their eyes would meet and she would shyly yet familiarly smile with not only her lips but through her eyes too....

(ps- i must mention that i got the thought of using gajra as a subject  came after seeing an advert for a tv soap..... but then that just initiated a string of thoughts so, no plagiarism involved here ;))