bawara man dekhne chala ek sapna......

life is some times stupidly beautiful..... inspite of all the pain, all the sufferings,

amidst all the chaos and painful phases, all of sudden he gives you a sign, you just stand and stare and wonder what's it all about, that sign..... you almost laugh within yourself , asking is there any good mean for you? but you feel at peace, you feel forgiven, you feel redempted, you don't feel that restlessness any more. you have surrendered yourself completely and you are ready for anything and everything and then suddenly it happens, the most unexpected thing and more than that is your own most unexpected reaction !

life all of a sudden throws such a surprise that you are swept off your feet.... you loose your senses, about what is right and what is wrong, you no longer are bothered to calculate. as if something grips your senses, it feels like a hypnotism, you go on doing what your heart says to you, without worrying about consequences. the outer world all of a sudden ceases to exist and all u can hear to and relate to your own heart, your own self.... and all of a sudden the world seems to be a lovely place and life seems to be beautiful.

no, the problems are solved, may be they are deepend, the scars not healed and the issues not resolved, but somehow something from above says, that the pieces of puzzle have started falling at places....all you need is to wait for the right time :)

ps- somehow i can't help humming this song ....

       बावरा मन देखने चला एक सपना

       बावरें से मन की देखो बावरी हैं बातें

       बावरी सी धड़कने हैं बावरी हैं साँसे

       बावरी से करवटें से नीन्दियाँ दूर भागे

       बावरे से नैन चाहे बावरे झरोखों से

       बावरे नज़ारे को ताकना

       बावरा मन देखने चला एक सपना.......

       http://youtu.be/ItmcP9vlbL0

       

       

life is so very strange.... there are moments of triumph, moments of losses, moments of ecstasy, moments of pain, moments with others, moments with yourself, and moments with Him.....

सर उठा के मैंने तो कितनी ख्वाइश की थी

कितने ख्वाब देखे थे कितनी कोशिश की थी

जब तू रूबरू आया नज़रे न मिला पाया

सर झुका के एक पल में मैंने क्या नहीं पाया

blabbering faith

i'm not a cry baby, i never was one. doesn't mean to say that i don't cry, i do... loads and loads but all that ppl around me get to see always is a big grin.....infact a cheerful face and i are synonymous, some ppl say. but, going through my recent posts i realized all i ve done is show a crying face. not that i'm ashamed, or regreting and all, just that i had no other place to vent, so i thought better let it be at an annonymous platform, where ppl don't know me, ppl don't know my story and thus ppl won't judge me. everyone at times needs a place to express it out, all of it, the frustations, the failures, the pain, the guilt..... everything. rather than piling it up, it's better to share it out, if not with anyone in particular then just talk it aloud with the universe, there definitely will be someone to hear it up . i am very well aware of the fact that life isn't a piece of cake or a bed of roses, and i'm way past that phase and age that would expect it to be that way, neither am i a timid docile one submitting easily to life's challenges, but there are times where even the toughest of fighters lose everything they have, their strength, their hope, their will.....i've lost my strength and will, and about hope i'm not sure.... coz i am one such hopelessly hopeful soul that it at times hurt to be this way, so, infact i even prayed for the hope to get killed. but then there is something i haven't lost yet, and that's faith, i don't know what's in store for me, i don't know what will happen tomorrow, i have no clue and i have given up fighting for it, but i know some thing, we human being know what we want, whereas, he, the one who lives up above, knows what we need !


guess he is jsut waiting to give me what i need :)

however you hard try.... however tough fight you give .... however badly you fail and give up.... nothing, absolutely nothing helps.....is it that i can't read his sign, or is it that he just isn't responding to those prayers....

LET GO AND LET GOD!

As children bring their broken toys
with tears for us to mend,

I brought my broken dreams to God,

because He was my friend.

But then, instead of leaving Him,

in peace, to work alone;

I hung around and tried to help,

with ways that were my own.

At last, I snatched them back and cried,

"How can you be so slow?"

"My child," He said,

"What could I do?

You never did let go."

i don't know who's the author of the poem, but i have been knowing this one by heart since last 10 yrs or may be more than that, but i guess i have never been able to impliment this in my own life. how so ever hard the time, and how so ever strong the faith, i have always tried interfering with my own ways, not because i didn't have faith in him, but because i thought he wanted me to do something. but now i am tired of trying to find the right way, my way never works and i don't which way he wants me to adopt.... anyway i have come to a point where i have nothing left and i give up, i give up completely, i have nothing more to fight for, not even a tiny ounce of me has the courage to fight or find a way..... i don't know what he wants for me, because most of the time it is that we know what we want but God knows what we need..... so he must be knowing it.... but i have one prayer....as i leave everything upon his wish now..... i dont know what it hold for me, whatever it will be i'll accept,but i just pray for one thing take away the hope .... because i can't see it getting shattered again..... i might be very strong, i might be a mighty one.... but i can't see it being shttered again and again.... so please take away the hope....i am better off without it !

this too shall pass.....

the night is dark.... it's raining outside.... and it's raining inside too.... faith is shaken up.... feelings shattered..... frustrations creeping in.... tears rolling down.....
sometimes our strength weakens us.....you ask yourself, why behave so strong that everyone shudder their weakness upon you... thinking you can take care..... but then you know the answer.... this how you were made....this is how you have been....and this how you survive.....
it may be a dark night.... but there will be a dawn
rain might be reigning but the sun will shine upon
and faith can be shaken up but it's never broken.....
so even though for a moment i think i've lost it
something tells me to hold on.....
and a voice whispers "this too shall pass"....