blabbering faith

i'm not a cry baby, i never was one. doesn't mean to say that i don't cry, i do... loads and loads but all that ppl around me get to see always is a big grin.....infact a cheerful face and i are synonymous, some ppl say. but, going through my recent posts i realized all i ve done is show a crying face. not that i'm ashamed, or regreting and all, just that i had no other place to vent, so i thought better let it be at an annonymous platform, where ppl don't know me, ppl don't know my story and thus ppl won't judge me. everyone at times needs a place to express it out, all of it, the frustations, the failures, the pain, the guilt..... everything. rather than piling it up, it's better to share it out, if not with anyone in particular then just talk it aloud with the universe, there definitely will be someone to hear it up . i am very well aware of the fact that life isn't a piece of cake or a bed of roses, and i'm way past that phase and age that would expect it to be that way, neither am i a timid docile one submitting easily to life's challenges, but there are times where even the toughest of fighters lose everything they have, their strength, their hope, their will.....i've lost my strength and will, and about hope i'm not sure.... coz i am one such hopelessly hopeful soul that it at times hurt to be this way, so, infact i even prayed for the hope to get killed. but then there is something i haven't lost yet, and that's faith, i don't know what's in store for me, i don't know what will happen tomorrow, i have no clue and i have given up fighting for it, but i know some thing, we human being know what we want, whereas, he, the one who lives up above, knows what we need !


guess he is jsut waiting to give me what i need :)