sense n nonsense

heylo everyone (i.e. if anyone is reading this !)
so hows the holiday season goin or coming along (sounds better i guess)?
hope santa has filled your stockings well and hope you all are having hell of a gud time at verge of end of the year that is passing by and at the verge of begening of the year that is coming by....
it's party season all around, every one seems to be in the merry making mood, and that's kool (ya, that's the best adjective i could think of, that's really kool)
and why shall i not call it kool... it's winter, time to dine and wine, time to adorn some new jackets, and carry those lovely multicolored scarves and put on best shoes (forget not the dancing ones!)
ok ok am i sounding typically selfishly girlish or teenish??? i think so!
yeah, basically I'm a no fun person, now don't mistake me of being a dumbhead or gloomy face, i definitely am not that, i like to laugh (smile i wud rather say n prefer ) and have fun, but somehow my idea of fun differs.
now the different idea of having fun does make me a loner at times but am not complaining....
n hey that's my first resolution for the year
THOU SHALL NOT COMPLAIN !
not complaining actually solves a hell lot of problem and makes life way easier , no complaints, no pains! seriously, trust me, i've worked on that, when I don't complain I don't get irritated by ppl playing deaf to me, I don't get frusated about my words not being taken seriously, and I feel at peace for being so kool with all the mess around ,
so, you see, what if i'm not having any party on my calender for new year, what if i'm not going to be in  Sydney to see the fireworks at the midnight, or at London big ben to hear the bell ringing or atTimes square to kiss the guy standing next to me, or as a matter of fact going gaga in our very own Goa, i'm definitely not complaining.
 i'll be happy to sit by my window and sip my coffee and see new dawn breaking and sun rising up from behind those mountains and painting the sky red, and giving the message loud and clear that sky is the limit!
 hey that reminds me of a quote which i must share with u ppl....
“With every rising of the sun, Think of your life as just begun. The past has shrived and buried deep All yesterdays; there let them sleep. Concern yourself with but today, Woo it, and teach it to obey Your will and wish. Since time began Today has been the friend of man; But in his blindness and his sorrow, He looks to yesterday and tomorrow. You, and today! a soul sublime, And the great pregnant hour of time, With God himself to bind the twain! Go forth, I say—attain, attain! ”

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

so for now let me start wishing u ppl for a happy and hope-filled new year
i'll keep talking sense and nonsense  in the coming year too,
for now...it's...
ciao :)

Why LOVE ?

Last weekend, while waiting in the lobby of a hotel, my view was captured by a piece of art adorning the wall. There of course were many other paintings but this one happened to capture my attention and I knew that the reason was more than just the contrast being added to the pastel wall by this red colored canvas.


It was portrait of a lady and the title read ” LOVE” by rebecca khan. The title obviously was thought provoking, I wondered why ‘love’ ?

The entire canvas had the basic color of red, the face was painted red, and I thought “isn’t a red face equivalent to anger?”,even the expressions on her face supported my thoughts….. tightly sealed lips, a slight frowning of brows, a penetrating gaze, everything was suggestive of anger being the dominant expression on the canvass. Still there was somthing very charming about the potrait. No doubt, anger too can be charming at times, but there definitely was something charming in a lovable way, and while thinking that my eyes noticed the white flower in her hair and white pearls in her neck and they somehow explained it all…… perhaps to persuade his lady love and dissipate the anger, someone must have have put a flower in her hair and affectionately put the pearls around her neck……..and thus even though anger was the dominant expression but love became the dominant emotion and she definitely looked like someone’s LOVE !

NuMb

life is strange and stranger is human nature....


sometimes you are constantly at a war with your ownself, you keep swinging between the two ends between the two choices between the various moods, at one moment you feel happy, the very next you don't feel that way, and all for no reason!

you are amongst people, you are surrounded by a crowd, you look around, you like it all, there are people you like, the moment is good, everything seems perfect, but suddenly from some unknown corner a feeling comes and knocks you off, the feeling of numbness creeps in and rule!

what we can create together are .....waves....

you are water
i'm air
i'm too superficial
u r too deep

but still we together can make some waves.....

Is it GoD who's partial... or is it just Me who is lame and not-so-lucky...?

I, who has always believed that there exist a power beyond the comprehension of our materialistic attitude and limited intelligence, which controls the existence of each individual's world, am unable to decide the answer for my question..."is god being partial... or is it just me who is not being lucky enough?".
My faith has always been an unshakable one, that the man upstairs is fairest of all, there esixt no bias, no prejudices, no partiality in his domnion.
Then why am I having doubt now?
I have been feeling lost for quite a long now, I have been trying my best to find an answer to my questions for so long, now I feel totally drained, and I still don't have my answers. I have been crying for help, am sure he must have dropped hints as well as help,it must be the fault of my eyes to not have recognized them.
Then thinking that's because of my blurred perception that I could not pick his signs, I started parying for ingenuity, so that I could comprehend what he wanted to say in all hidden ways, but I failed again.
Earlier I used to hear him in my innerself, closing my eyes and letting myself hear my own self was the best method to get connected to him, now a days I can't anymore hear myself. All I can hear from within me is a cry for help, a sob for helpness, a crippled feeling of indesiciveness....I feel lost in all ways.
Reminds me of a very old song

ghayal man ka pagal panchi udne ko bekarar

pankh hai komal, aankh hai dhundhli,jana hai sagar paar

kaano me zara kah de

aaye kaun disha se hum

My dreams have vanished, and that's what I miss the most.... for a dreamer a like me, life holds no meaning without dreams.... all the experiences I've had, all the wisdom and the knowledge I've acquired, nothing helps, nothing gives a solution, there is no happiness, no feelings, all I feel is... plain numb !

But then throughout the little of whatsoever life I have lived,I've come to realize that, even when all my knowledge fails, my experiences rot, my mind gives up and my soul surrenders.... my faith somehow still survives.... and I recall this famous story:                                    

"Footprints in the sand"

One night a man had a dream.

He dreamed he was walking along

the beach with the Lord.

Across the dark sky flashed scenes from his life.

For each scene, he noticed
two sets of footprints in the sand,

one beloning to him and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,

he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of his life

there was only one set of footprints.

He also noticed that it happened at the

very lowest and saddest times in his life.

This bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.

"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,

you'd walk with me all the way.

But I have noticed that during the most

troublesome times in my life there is

only one set of footprints.

I don't understand why when I needed you most

you would leave me."

The Lord replied "My precious, precious child,

I love you and would never leave you.

During your times of trial and suffereing,
when you see only one set of footprints in the sand,

it was then that I carried you."

So, may be he is carrying me right now too, and I here am unnecessarily blaming him.... human nature you see is such ungrateful.... may be that's why you and me are mere mortal beings and he is GOD.

ps- if you are wondering why have I been writing all this here on a public platform.... it's just because, I am tired of writing all this in my diary, and may be God too has become techsavy like we people and he browses blogs mostly rather than personal diaries, so may be he someday will read this and answer to my prayers, and I ve heard he mostly answers through his children, so may be one fine morning I'll find his words coming from one of you... HALLELUJAH!