however you hard try.... however tough fight you give .... however badly you fail and give up.... nothing, absolutely nothing helps.....is it that i can't read his sign, or is it that he just isn't responding to those prayers....

LET GO AND LET GOD!

As children bring their broken toys
with tears for us to mend,

I brought my broken dreams to God,

because He was my friend.

But then, instead of leaving Him,

in peace, to work alone;

I hung around and tried to help,

with ways that were my own.

At last, I snatched them back and cried,

"How can you be so slow?"

"My child," He said,

"What could I do?

You never did let go."

i don't know who's the author of the poem, but i have been knowing this one by heart since last 10 yrs or may be more than that, but i guess i have never been able to impliment this in my own life. how so ever hard the time, and how so ever strong the faith, i have always tried interfering with my own ways, not because i didn't have faith in him, but because i thought he wanted me to do something. but now i am tired of trying to find the right way, my way never works and i don't which way he wants me to adopt.... anyway i have come to a point where i have nothing left and i give up, i give up completely, i have nothing more to fight for, not even a tiny ounce of me has the courage to fight or find a way..... i don't know what he wants for me, because most of the time it is that we know what we want but God knows what we need..... so he must be knowing it.... but i have one prayer....as i leave everything upon his wish now..... i dont know what it hold for me, whatever it will be i'll accept,but i just pray for one thing take away the hope .... because i can't see it getting shattered again..... i might be very strong, i might be a mighty one.... but i can't see it being shttered again and again.... so please take away the hope....i am better off without it !

this too shall pass.....

the night is dark.... it's raining outside.... and it's raining inside too.... faith is shaken up.... feelings shattered..... frustrations creeping in.... tears rolling down.....
sometimes our strength weakens us.....you ask yourself, why behave so strong that everyone shudder their weakness upon you... thinking you can take care..... but then you know the answer.... this how you were made....this is how you have been....and this how you survive.....
it may be a dark night.... but there will be a dawn
rain might be reigning but the sun will shine upon
and faith can be shaken up but it's never broken.....
so even though for a moment i think i've lost it
something tells me to hold on.....
and a voice whispers "this too shall pass"....

you with yourself !

you live thousands of moments, you meet hundreds of ppl, you walk with the crowd, you talk with the bunch, you laugh many a laughters, you shuttle between truths n lies, through out the day you struggle and strive...and give the world your best face.... but at the end of the day all you have with yourself is you !

the crab clutching my toe

there are moments when nothing else but restlessness surrounds, dominates and rules!
however hard you may try to concentrate, however hard you may try to shift your attention , however hard you may pray to find a solace, it doesn't work. that creepy thing doesn't let you go..... it's like a crab whose claws are holding your toe tight.... very tight....you hush, you run, you try shake it off.... but it's still there, clinging to you as if its life depends on your very toe.... and then u start feeling that dull nagging pain..... and then you notice some blood too....and amidst all the mess it's making, it's still there happily sticking to you..... you try fight it initially but then later you give up.... you give up and let it be..... you get accustomed to that dull ache, which by now you are so used to, you secretly start enjoying it, and then there you realize all of a sudden that you have found your solace...the pain.... you no more register the crab that's causing the pain, all you are focused on is that nagging dull ache.... and thus the mighty restlessness dissolves ........