it wasn't love and then it was love...

it wasn't exactly love when you first time smiled at me...
it wasn't love at all when first time you called my name and my heart did  a somersault ...
it wasn't love either when we went for that first cup of tea together...
 it wasn't when we took that first walk on that windy cloudy evening with my hair ruffled and your hands trembling....
 it may not have been love when our hands softly brushed and i shuddered on that first touch...
it was a lot like love when we spent that night talking under the stars and laughing on silly nothings ...
but on those evenings when you weren't around and my heart smiled of joy such unknown that my eyes wept and the tears rolled down smiling thinking of you.... that moment for sure was love!

what's your definition of 'sexy' ??

Cad and me were having a discussion about whether a particular person is sexy or not and suddenly cad asks me what was my definition of 'sexy'... and for a moment I had no answer ! Seriously I don't find people sexy easily and I have no clue what the conventional sex appeal is..... for me it's quite different ... what I find sexy or what turns me on is more of a mental thing. Well don't doubt my orientation if I say I don't remember drooling over a guy's body ever... a well toned body definitely denotes good health and is appreciable but not necessarily sexy. Anyway so coming back to the question what I find sexy is the passion of a person,the passion with which a person does a thing whether it's his work or his hobby if it's been done with complete dedication it looks sexy, it comes out sexy.... why do you think Sherlock is such a huge sensation, definitely he is not that good looking a guy... neither is he a conventional charming metrosexual the basic fact is because he is so good at his work that led to this cumberbitch society all over the world... so thankfully I think there are other people out there who think on the same line that I do that the word 'sexy' is way more and beyond than a hot body or perfect curves... ( and of course cad laughs me off and says good work needs a certificate or a medal rather than being sexy :P ) 

déjà vu

I look up at the sky and there is a feeling of déjà vu, it's strange as I thought I was at a different land and had a different sky but I happened to spot the same stars and I can't tell you how glad I'm to have spotted them. Only if I had a camera which was capable enough to capture the sky full of stars in it's real color and real grandeur I would have done that for myself and for all you readers but alas ! I just can't sometimes figure out myself how much I love these stars, that sun and the moon... oh my moon. There is a reason I like being with them and there is a reason they make me smile as I know they are the one who will always be with me whether I'm happy or gloomy, sweet or grumpy, successful or struggling, sighing or singing... they will be there and I'll look at them hopefully will always manage a smile... I'm listening to some real old numbers right now ... ना तुम हमे जानो  ना हम तुम्हे जाने मगर लगता है  कुछ ऐसा  मेरा हमदम मिल  गया ...can you believe I used to listen to these songs when i was 12 years old and I'm not kidding I seriously used to and I still love these songs, just that I listen to them less now a days to keep away the nostalgia, nostalgia isn't meant for everyday... so the déjà vu feeling is okay to have only at times.... the sunset may be different from day to day and place to place but it is the same sun after all !

life's little blessings....

life's little blessings ....

as i'm writing this one am sitting by window and glass door of my balcony and can see a beautiful moon outside sparkling up above the sky..... and all i can do is watch it in awe.... and i feel blessed for all the nature around me .... haven't i loved doing this from a time unknown.... i simply can stare it for hours together and not get bored .... i can see in it some beautiful moments gone by.... some good times that i have hoped to have.... some dreams that have just been dreams... some dreams that have still got their chances..... some places i've been to, some places i would like to.... it's all there in the face of the moon.... is it the moon or a miraculous kaleidoscope flashing back different colors of my life.... i don't know but i'm eternally thankful that it is there at this moment peeping in from my window bathing me in it's silver glory, smiling back at me with its smooth silver beauty and its uneven spots just a full one ....something similar to how life needs both pain and pleasure to have that complete full feeling ... in spite of the imperfections they are both beautiful !

I give up on things, on things that are difficult , on things that are different for me, on things that require coming out of my shell and do something extraordinary, on things that need the voice to stand by it and stand through all the hardship... I generally give up on things... and though You are all that and much more You are different and I'm not giving up this time, I can't give up on You... it's as simple as that however complicated it may sound or seem ... I'm not giving up on You today or any other day !