the winter rain

There are very few things more haunting yet more romantic than a winter rain.
It’s always a stirring experience.

I sit by my window and see those dark clouds descending down the high mountains into the valley….. like the brave warriors marching forward with valor, with thunders and lightening as their weapons, they soon conquer the sky, the mighty sun too surrenders and is curtailed.....a sunny afternoon soon turns into a gloomy scene. The wind accompanying the clouds is fiercely cold and strong. It shakes the denuded branches of  brazen trees. There seems to be a desperation in the stir, seems as if the juddering trees are pleading the clouds to break down heavily and drench the earth, so that the buds will sprout again, the leaves in their nascent green will decorate the trees once again, and once again it will lead a way for the spring.

As i look upon the sight outside, the glass of my window too is being shaken by the wind, the breeze is turning the pages of my diary which lies open on the table by the window side, the cup of coffee has lost it effervescence and my un-capped pen rolls over the table.

It’s getting darker with every passing moment, and the wind becomes stronger, the curtains in my room fly higher, I keep looking outside. As the storm keeps building up, it not only perturbs the scene outside, but somewhere deep down in my own self too, things are stirred, memories some good, some bad, start hitting the soul in the same way as the chilled breeze has been hitting my face. Outside there,I see those fallen leaves being carried away by the wind, and in here I too am getting carried away by my thoughts, thoughts of today, memories of yesterday and fears and imaginations of tomorrow. There I see a swirl rising up….. and within myself I see faces, faces of people I have come across, some of them who are with me, some who were left behind, some who moved ahead, I see events, events trivial as well as magnanimous, all of them shaping my life in their own ways, I see places, places which have left an imprint on mind, some unforgettable journeys, some subconsciously noted roads,some cross roads, some never covered distances, some imaginary adobes, I see the ever-changing seasons, everything together creates a whirlpool.

The storm is at its zenith, the swirl rising to its greatest possible height, leaves, particles, dust everything dancing on the tune of the wind, but the center is empty…… yes, the center is empty I notice, in the same way as I see an empty me at the center of the world revolving round me, the thoughts, those people, those memories, the feelings, the places..... amidst all of them I stand alone .....haunted.

And the storm explodes....the lightening is meiotic and the sound is deafening, for a moment everything stops, it's all numb…… and the flood gates are opened, it’s pouring down heavily…I come out of the trance to find that the earth is being soaked up, the trees are tranquilized, the wind is no where to be felt, the flying in leaves now being washed and buried into the soil. The rain drops take the liberty to cross my window and I feel the wetness on my face, my fingers touch those drops over my cheeks…. and it’s not cold….seems some flood gates got opened here too…and

I smile.

I shut the window glasses and notice the mess on my table….. The storm has left all it’s marks here,on the pages of my diary….. dirt particles, a dried leaf and also some rain everything lies there, the cup of coffee now split, the pen still lying coverless in a corner. I gather up myself, clear up the mess, light the lamp on the table, and all of a sudden the ambience is so perfectly lit, a soft light being scatters all around. The cup in my hands needs a refilling I feel, I get into the kitchen and somehow on my regular dark taste, I today feel the need of adding a dash of cream and a spoonful of chocolate too….and then sipping up the dark temptation I get back to my room, put on my favorite rain song, and laze by the window.

I can smell the fragrance coming from a happy earth, whose thirst has been quenched. The warm bitter-sweet taste of the coffee lingers in my mouth and a similar sensation I feel down my heart too. Those thoughts, those people, those places, those memories, those feelings, which felt so very haunting a moment ago, were now metamorphosing themselves into a beautiful medley .The good times were celebrating, the not so good ones were humbly smiling at the valuable lessons they taught. People were leaving their footprints on the sand of the heart, some prints getting washed away, some were permanently engraved, some I found beside me, some behind and some leading me, there was a common link that all of them at some point had been with me and I was grateful that I had not been alone. The chamaeleon nature of the seasons was coloring my life. The roads, some were waving goodbyes and some showed milestones with a welcome tag. And then there were days … yesterday was fading out with a satisfied smile on it’s face, tomorrow was again too far to comprehend and it too had a mysterious but promising smile on it’s face, and today definitely seemed to be a present in all the sense. So slowly the haunting things got a romantic color on them, and I find myself smiling.... a smile that has the satisfaction of yesterday, promise of tomorrow and the present of today :)

And the rain out side thins, on one corner I see the blue sky, and find the sun softly lifting the veil of the subdued clouds to see a freshly bathed earth…… romance is in the air….;)