you live thousands of moments, you meet hundreds of ppl, you walk with the crowd, you talk with the bunch, you laugh many a laughters, you shuttle between truths n lies, through out the day you struggle and strive...and give the world your best face.... but at the end of the day all you have with yourself is you !Thursday, June 23, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
the crab clutching my toe
there are moments when nothing else but restlessness surrounds, dominates and rules!
however hard you may try to concentrate, however hard you may try to shift your attention , however hard you may pray to find a solace, it doesn't work. that creepy thing doesn't let you go..... it's like a crab whose claws are holding your toe tight.... very tight....you hush, you run, you try shake it off.... but it's still there, clinging to you as if its life depends on your very toe.... and then u start feeling that dull nagging pain..... and then you notice some blood too....and amidst all the mess it's making, it's still there happily sticking to you..... you try fight it initially but then later you give up.... you give up and let it be..... you get accustomed to that dull ache, which by now you are so used to, you secretly start enjoying it, and then there you realize all of a sudden that you have found your solace...the pain.... you no more register the crab that's causing the pain, all you are focused on is that nagging dull ache.... and thus the mighty restlessness dissolves ........
however hard you may try to concentrate, however hard you may try to shift your attention , however hard you may pray to find a solace, it doesn't work. that creepy thing doesn't let you go..... it's like a crab whose claws are holding your toe tight.... very tight....you hush, you run, you try shake it off.... but it's still there, clinging to you as if its life depends on your very toe.... and then u start feeling that dull nagging pain..... and then you notice some blood too....and amidst all the mess it's making, it's still there happily sticking to you..... you try fight it initially but then later you give up.... you give up and let it be..... you get accustomed to that dull ache, which by now you are so used to, you secretly start enjoying it, and then there you realize all of a sudden that you have found your solace...the pain.... you no more register the crab that's causing the pain, all you are focused on is that nagging dull ache.... and thus the mighty restlessness dissolves ........
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
tum itna jo muskura rahe ho....
बन जायेंगे जहर पीते पीते ये अश्क जो पीते जा रहे हो...
this is one of my fav. piece of music.... it's something i tune into when nothing but helplessness surrounds and my mind starts playing games with my own self.... a Q&A session i can call it... just that there are way too many questions and my heart knows answer to none.....
why are mind and heart such rivals, can't they ever be at peace with each other.... why can't the arrogant and ever-intelligent mind spare the poor heart from the harsh logic of world..... and when on earth will that timid heart stop defying all the logic and in spite of apparently being the softer one stop ruling the mightier mind.... and make one do all the stupidities that one can't even afford to....
i guess...रेखाओं का खेल है मुक्कद्दर रेखाओं से मात खा रहे हो.....
for those of you who are interested to hear this number... here it is
Monday, May 30, 2011
turning the pages.....( the initial ones)
Books and I share a love-hate relationship, it's more like a marriage, you can call me a polygamist in that sense because I'm literally married to them, all sorts of them, and I know this relation is going to last a life time.
Well, love comes into picture when I see those beautifully shelved hard-covered or paperback editions of those great works of literature adorning a study, a library or a book shop, my mood is instantly elevated, I rush to them, I touch them, I feel them, I smell them, and lovingly I turn the pages...
And about hating them.... how could I.... it's true that sometimes I'm so tired with the piles and piles of them that I've to finish within a deadline that I don't feel like touching them for months, but ultimately I've to get back to them.... they are my only solace after all.
So, the reason I'm talking of books and my love for them is, other day I came across this Book Reading Challenge 2011by Book Readers Lounge, though I came to know about it very late, but as the theme was one of my favourites 'INDIA' I decided to mention about it. It can include any books with plot based in India, or any work of a writer of Indian origin, so, I thought I would just list my favourite ones down here, don't have time to write a review so, I'll just quote some of my favourite sentences from that book or give a synopsis, or just give you one simple reason to read the book or the author
1) An Equal Music by Vikram Seth
I'll be biased and begin with my the favourite one... An Equal Music
Set in the background of three beautiful European cities...London, Vienna and Venice is this amazingly soul stirring musical love story which you might finish reading once, but, it will forever keep echoing into your mind like a beautiful piece of music....You may not like the story, you may not fall in love with the characters, but you won't be able to deny it's beauty. For me it's a personal treasure, in me personal copy, by the side of the poem written by the author addressing his partner, there is a sentence written by me in the honor of this beautiful book
2) The Namesake by Jhumpa Lehri and the other likes (videshi stories of deshis)
Read it for the very feel of understanding the joy, the amusement and the inner conflict of adapting to a completely different culture and country. The silent and unacknowledged pain of being uprooted and then re-rooted to a place where you actually don't belong to. This very work of hers represents not only her other works like Unaccustomed Earth but also, works of many other abroad settled Indian authors whose work are mostly based on the torn feeling of belonging and not belonging to world....
3) Read Ruskin
I won't name a particular book of his, because they are so many and they are all so wonderful. He is one English man who is more Indian than anyone else I feel. \
Read his books, just for the joy of enjoying simplicity, there are hardly works in literature those are so simple and yet so successful.
Read his books to simply turn the pages in a lazy afternoon and laugh at his anecdotes.
Read his books to enjoy the beautiful summers of the hills of Himanchal.
If you haven't read him yet, then you surely are missing something.
here is one of my favourite pieces written by him :
Remember the long ago when we lay together
In a pain of tenderness and counted
Our dreams: long summer afternoons
When the whistling-thrush released
A deep sweet secret on the trembling air;
Blackbird on the wing, bird of the forest shadows,
Black rose in the long ago summer,
This was your song:
It isn't time that's passing by,
It is you and I.
( that's all for now, have got much more to share, but the books are calling again and now I need to turn some pages....)
Well, love comes into picture when I see those beautifully shelved hard-covered or paperback editions of those great works of literature adorning a study, a library or a book shop, my mood is instantly elevated, I rush to them, I touch them, I feel them, I smell them, and lovingly I turn the pages...
And about hating them.... how could I.... it's true that sometimes I'm so tired with the piles and piles of them that I've to finish within a deadline that I don't feel like touching them for months, but ultimately I've to get back to them.... they are my only solace after all.
So, the reason I'm talking of books and my love for them is, other day I came across this Book Reading Challenge 2011by Book Readers Lounge, though I came to know about it very late, but as the theme was one of my favourites 'INDIA' I decided to mention about it. It can include any books with plot based in India, or any work of a writer of Indian origin, so, I thought I would just list my favourite ones down here, don't have time to write a review so, I'll just quote some of my favourite sentences from that book or give a synopsis, or just give you one simple reason to read the book or the author
1) An Equal Music by Vikram Seth
I'll be biased and begin with my the favourite one... An Equal Music
Set in the background of three beautiful European cities...London, Vienna and Venice is this amazingly soul stirring musical love story which you might finish reading once, but, it will forever keep echoing into your mind like a beautiful piece of music....You may not like the story, you may not fall in love with the characters, but you won't be able to deny it's beauty. For me it's a personal treasure, in me personal copy, by the side of the poem written by the author addressing his partner, there is a sentence written by me in the honor of this beautiful book
" whenever I feel so very torn.... I come to you,
as you console me so beautifully... that I'm not the only one"
2) The Namesake by Jhumpa Lehri and the other likes (videshi stories of deshis)
Read it for the very feel of understanding the joy, the amusement and the inner conflict of adapting to a completely different culture and country. The silent and unacknowledged pain of being uprooted and then re-rooted to a place where you actually don't belong to. This very work of hers represents not only her other works like Unaccustomed Earth but also, works of many other abroad settled Indian authors whose work are mostly based on the torn feeling of belonging and not belonging to world....
3) Read Ruskin
I won't name a particular book of his, because they are so many and they are all so wonderful. He is one English man who is more Indian than anyone else I feel. \
Read his books, just for the joy of enjoying simplicity, there are hardly works in literature those are so simple and yet so successful.
Read his books to simply turn the pages in a lazy afternoon and laugh at his anecdotes.
Read his books to enjoy the beautiful summers of the hills of Himanchal.
If you haven't read him yet, then you surely are missing something.
here is one of my favourite pieces written by him :
Remember the long ago when we lay together
In a pain of tenderness and counted
Our dreams: long summer afternoons
When the whistling-thrush released
A deep sweet secret on the trembling air;
Blackbird on the wing, bird of the forest shadows,
Black rose in the long ago summer,
This was your song:
It isn't time that's passing by,
It is you and I.
( that's all for now, have got much more to share, but the books are calling again and now I need to turn some pages....)
Friday, May 20, 2011
a yellow banyan leaf.....
A rainy grey may afternoon in ktm, nothing unusual about it, ktm has unusually rainy summers which everyone living here is quite used to. I sit by a table of this open cafeteria in this posh lane of embassies. Embassies of two massive empires stand here side by side, UK and India. I almost laugh at the irony, once upon a time, one of them was under the control of the other and now that one stands alone, independent and almost as mighty as the other one. Anyway lets get out of the politics, that's not my favourite topic . So, I sit here alone and sip my coffee, utterly dark and sweetly bitter just like the day, waiting for a friend whom I haven't met in years.
The gathering on the next table gathers my attention too, it's a group of hippies sitting there, immersed in some serious talks it seems. I wonder how they manage to look alike, they are a complete community in themselves, they may not belong to same country, they may not speak the same language or follow the same religion but they all look so similar. I wonder how is it possible, then I get my answer by my own self, hasn't it been numerous times that people mistake me for my colleagues, just because of the same white coats that we wear, so, it's like if all the lawyers wearing their robe can look similar, all the doctors in their white coats can look similar then why can't all the hippies look same, with those same unkempt hair, those colorful tattoos, those worn out garments and most importantly with that 'I'm restlessly at peace' attitude. Frankly I envy them, I do, I just wish I had the same kind of attitude in me, who cares for the world.....all I want is my slice of peace !
The fallen yellow leaves of banyan which stands across the road are happy with the drizzle it seems, they might be lifeless scientifically but it seems the drops of rain are providing them the final salvation, some them even manage to fly across the road when in between the drizzle strong breeze intervenes, and hit my table. And thus the memories start hitting me too, memories of people so fond of, of places so far off... my heart almost aches. I wonder at life's chameleon nature, always changing it's color. Just like the day today, it was a sunny morning to wake up to then some pleasant breeze to accompany while walking for the brunch and now it's a gloomy afternoon. Life which once had all the colors of rainbow, now looks like today's gray sky... which has nothing to ask for, nothing to look forwards too, nothing to wish for for and hardly anything to feel for.....so much like a fallen yellow leaf with last few drops of rain on it......
The gathering on the next table gathers my attention too, it's a group of hippies sitting there, immersed in some serious talks it seems. I wonder how they manage to look alike, they are a complete community in themselves, they may not belong to same country, they may not speak the same language or follow the same religion but they all look so similar. I wonder how is it possible, then I get my answer by my own self, hasn't it been numerous times that people mistake me for my colleagues, just because of the same white coats that we wear, so, it's like if all the lawyers wearing their robe can look similar, all the doctors in their white coats can look similar then why can't all the hippies look same, with those same unkempt hair, those colorful tattoos, those worn out garments and most importantly with that 'I'm restlessly at peace' attitude. Frankly I envy them, I do, I just wish I had the same kind of attitude in me, who cares for the world.....all I want is my slice of peace !
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