out of the comfort zone !

I finally gathered the courage to move out of my comfort zone.... and it's not as bad as I thought it would be. It's definitely different but not that difficult and even if it is difficult at times you always have the option to adapt or to stop. So, life has changed quite a bit. From rush of a metro to quiet countryside, from air conditioned vehicles to the good old rickshaw, from a beautiful valley to a scorching plane, from the comforts of home to a lonely corner.... things have changed but I know it's just a phase and most importantly it's what I chose for myself.... it must have been the biggest risk I've taken till date and a first major independent decision too and I just hope it works out. The wise must have had experienced something to say that the biggest risk in life is not to take one... so here am I starting with one.

My morning starts with a cup of tea, I prepare my own breakfast, I manage the lunch on my own, I see almost a hundred patient a day without even knowing their language still I manage exchanging smiles and joke with them, I cook, I clean, I work I work insanely, I keep myself busy enough and hardly get a 'me-time', I'm making friends, I'm overcoming fears, I'm challenging myself everyday for something new sometimes I achieve that, sometimes I keep trying and quietly say myself "if not today then tomorrow", I'm stretching my limits and I'm trying them too, I know my imperfections better now and I rejoice in being the mess that I sometimes am. For now it may not be the perfect life but for this perfect moment it is the kind of life I should living !

     

this is the cup that starts my day!

the view from my balcony  !

a DIY thing to pass the leisure  TV-less hours

something that keeps me going !

a mess that I'm!!

"I have realized; it is during the times I am far outside my element that I experience myself the most. That I see and feel who I really am, the most! I think that's what a comet is like, you see, a comet is born in the outer realms of the universe! But it's only when it ventures too close to our sun or to other stars that it releases the blazing "tail" behind it and shoots brazen through the heavens! And meteors become sucked into our atmosphere before they burst like firecrackers and realize that they're shooting stars! That's why I enjoy taking myself out of my own element, my own comfort zone, and hurling myself out into the unknown. Because it's during those scary moments, those unsure steps taken, that I am able to see that I'm like a comet hitting a new atmosphere: suddenly I illuminate magnificently and fire dusts begin to fall off of me! I discover a smile I didn't know I had, I uncover a feeling that I didn't know existed in me... I see myself. I'm a shooting star. A meteor shower. But I'm not going to die out. I guess I'm more like a comet then. I'm just going to keep on coming back" - C. JoyBell C.

the most beautiful eyes...

she kept looking in the mirror for longer than usual, did she really see those lines at the outer corner of her eyes ... she checked again and yes there were those crow feet and her lips curled into a smile and she said to herself   "so the most beautiful eyes in the world are aging it seems" sarcastic to her own self, her smile broadens and she nods her head as if in disbelief. his voice runs into her head "wherever or whosoever you are with tomorrow just remember that you have got the most beautiful eyes in the world " and those beautiful eyes well up ... why today all of a sudden he is in her thoughts, wasn't that one sentence quite a few years old now and she really doesn't think of him much anyway or even if she does it doesn't hurt anymore... hasn't it been ages that he got busy with his life and she with hers and both of them surely not regretting any bit of it ... but then it's only us that move but those words said and those moments spent somewhere linger in the air only to flash a glimpse of themselves once in a while and take you to a world that once existed.... so, she closes her eyes, her beautiful eyes and recounts the moment.... a young couple sitting in a crowded chaos with mixed feelings don't know whether it was falling or rising out of love and all of a sudden out of nowhere he came up with that one sentence and her eyes had welled up just like now and she knew at that very moment whether they last or not but this moment and this sentence will be with her forever.... and see it is forever...and she smiles again not sarcastic this time, nor even hurt, she smiles out of satisfaction of that glorifying sentence ....just remember that you have got the most beautiful eyes in the world... and did she really think these meager wrinkles and lines can change that.... she laughed it off softly and once more looked confidently in the mirror ready to see the beautiful world outside once again with her eyes....

let some sunshine in....

It's been gloomy, even sky is synchronizing itself with my mood, last couple of days, weeks I would rather say, in spite of the fact that I had a mini holiday too in between but nothing has been able to uplift the mood, and don't even talk about valentines it's been cold rainy and I've been under blankets down with fever for most of the day..... okay now enough of cribbing, it's just a phase won't last forever.... sometimes it just feels that everything is out of control, nothing nothing actually in the whole big universe is actually yours to have some control on.... but then as some wise men said we always have a control on ourselves and our reactions to the things that happen around us, to us..... so, I would rather go with that ..... I know I don't have a magic wand to change things or situation around me but I definitely do have some control over me and my approach and reactions to the things which I'm pretty sure is going to affect the situation around me and things will get better :) I know a hopeless optimistic bitch that I'm ... but it's better this way rather than being a sulky complaining agony aunt kind of thing... it can't rain forever... it can't stay dark always.... however full the sky may seem to be right now but there will appear a crack somewhere in that dark blanket of cloud in one tiny corner and slowly some wind and a little of sunshine will force through it slowly parting those clouds away, some of the clouds will break down, some will part, some will vaporise, and some would just float... sky will change it's color to blue with polka dots of grey and white at places.... earth will be greener post-rains and happier to see the sun back... and world too would be a better place .... and I perhaps will be stronger and better and happier a person :)

i know this pic nowhere resembles the post but but i like the way sunshine is coming towards me to fulfill the entire gallery. it's from latest trip to the land of mughals, will be posting more soon

and that's me !